Wordcount: 3,280 words
Warnings: bestial penetrable sex toy usage and descriptions of bestial sex toys, rimming, felching, unprotected sex, crack-ish (because what the heck)
Summary: In which Zitao takes Lu Han's name too literally and buys a deer boy's butt toy for himself. If he can't fuck Lu Han, then he might as well settle for the next best thing.
Author's notes: This (NSFW anthropomorphic art and bestial sex toys) is the masturbation toy Tao uses in the fic.
Zitao has been thinking about banging Lu Han's flat ass for a while now.
As a quickly rising celebrity in China, Zitao has a wide pool of very fuckable people to choose from. But despite this well-known fact, he only has eyes for his roommate, a fellow fame-dweller and owner of a pancake ass.
His crush – or whatever it is – gets out of hand when Wu Yifan, one of their Chinese superstar friends, texts Zitao a link.
hey check out this site
Zitao opens the webpage like any person would, squinting at the 18+ warning. He's bombarded by an array of images, strange-looking dildos of every colour and size, and quickly backs out of the tab.
r u joking
i kno u like that kinky shit
this is sick
sick as in cool right???
ur so weird ge
Zitao briefly entertains the thought of blackmailing Yifan with the link he'd just sent him. Male God Wu Yifan Has Secret Stash Of Dragon Dildos? More on page 12. The netizens would explode. However, he soon forgets about it – and the website entirely – by the time he falls asleep that night.
He doesn't think about Bad Dragon again until the next day when he has some downtime. As he's lying on his bed and playing with his phone, he stumbles upon the tab. He blinks, remembering what Yifan had texted him the night before. What the hell, he thinks, and begins browsing the different sex toys available for purchase. (The Gryphon is 15% off, he notes.) There are so many dicks: long flared and unflared horse dicks, even My Little Pony-esque dicks; dinosaur dicks, dragon dicks, werewolf and dog dicks, shark dicks. Zitao didn't know sharks even had dicks. Apparently they have two. He shakes his head in muddled wonder.
There are a lot of creatures he's never even heard of, and he's not sure he ever wanted to have heard of. Especially not about what they're packing. He learns that a Wyvern is a terrifying-looking Amazonian dragon, a Wyrm is a giant snake with a formidable-looking dick, a Chimera is a hybrid of at least three different animals, and that a "Wolfdragon" is a thing. A dragon's tongue and a dragon's tail take the lead as the site's resident "stretchers." Then there's the half-human anthro dragon, borne out of a man fucking a "dragoness" while she's in heat. Zitao spots a lone tentacle for the hentai lovers, and becomes informed about the fact that canines have a huge, scary-looking bulge at the base of their dick called a "knot," and cats have barbed penises. He's shocked. He loves cats, and he owns a dog. Why would Yifan expose him to such monstrosity?
Most of the dildos have their own art, too, showcasing their owners' impressive leaking cocks, giant balls, and tight assholes. Stan the T. rex, for instance, boasts an Extra Large-sized dildo that is wider than a Coke can is tall. Zitao reluctantly clicks on the Karabos, which resembles the cockroach alien villain from Men in Black. Like, gross. Who would want to be fucked by a giant mutant roach? There are even sheathes that you can wear on your cock (do you want to be a werewolf, or the basilisk from the second Harry Potter movie? You decide), and "packers" that you can wear in your underwear to make it look you have a horse dick.
He continues to scroll down the massive selection of oddities, laughing occasionally at the outlandishness of it all, his face scrunching up in a frown when he sees something really disturbing. How many people actually buy these things? Who the fuck would want to use them or get caught with them hiding in their drawers? The prices aren't all that affordable, either.
Zitao makes it to the list of penetrable toys, which are like Fleshlights for creepy nerds that are into bestiality. There are dragon muzzles for those whose fantasies involve wanting to slip their dick into a sharp-toothed silicone snout. They show up among horse, dinosaur, dog and dragon vulvas and butts.
That's when he sees it.
Snowball the Deer.
Zitao wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he's instantly reminded of Lu Han. Lu Han's fans often refer to him as a deer because of what his name means; he even went as far as putting a deer on the cover of his new album. Zitao thinks about mentioning the toy to Yifan as a joke, but he's not going to let Yifan know that he was looking this closely into the website.
He clicks on the link with trembling fingers and is greeted by a picture of a cute anthropomorphic buck, lightly spotted, with a fluffy flag-tail and a glimpse of soft-looking balls. The curve of his back and shoulders is suggestive, his round white cheeks spread from the way his hind legs are positioned, revealing a tight pink hole. He's biting his thumb coyly with a blush glowing on his cheeks. His big blue eyes stare into Zitao's own and he curses beneath his breath as he feels his cock twitch in his pants, betraying him.
He can't stop himself from imagining Snowball as Lu Han. He takes a deep breath and tries to tear himself away from the image, looking at the toys instead. The description says it all. "Snowball the Deer is ready and raring to go! His cute tail is flipped up and readily revealing softly textured cheeks. The delicate entrance leads into pleasing sinewy textures. Will you help grant Snowball his holiday wish?"
If he can't have Lu Han's ass, then maybe he could settle for this. Besides, Snowball has a nicer ass than his roommate, anyway. Even if it is fake.
The price reads "Available from $130.00." It's a little steep, but luckily he's rich and has a couple hundred to drop on a deer boy's butt toy.
Zitao is known as an impulse buyer, but he never dreamed of purchasing something like this. After ten minutes he has a confirmation email and a receipt in his inbox and he's stumbling to the bathroom to jerk off.
The toy arrives at their apartment less than a week later, after Zitao paid extra money for fast shipping and a tracking number. He's relieved to find that Lu Han isn't home but immediately hides it anyway, just in case. He's so embarrassed that he actually went through with buying the toy that he wants it out of sight, even though he's itching to try it out. Deciding to ask Lu Han about his schedule as a precaution, Zitao hastily pulls out his phone and texts him.
hey will u be here tonight??
nope im not in beijing rn
u bringing someone over for sex??
its nothing dw
do u miss me
cute taozi (^_^)
Zitao clenches his phone in frustration. Why does Lu Han have to be so damn cute?! His cheeks are heating up and it isn't just because he's thinking about using the toy right away.
He tears through his drawer and opens the package. He ordered the toy in the Light Natural colour, which matches Lu Han's current blond hair. It came with a bottle of Bad Dragon's special Cum Lube, which resembles actual cum. The description on the website reads, "Slick, slippery, and stringy, Cum Lube is similar in appearance to the real thing! It can be used alone or with a partner or can add an exciting twist to playtime."
Zitao wastes no time shoving his pants down and isn't surprised at all to see his dick already hard and ready to explore the toy's secret depths. He holds the toy in his hands, feeling its weight, and slides his hand up and down the shaft where his dick will be. His thumbs stroke the textured cheeks, his face getting redder because of what it does to his nerves. He's so fucking aroused and he hasn't even touched himself yet.
Pouring a liberal amount of lube into the toy's small entrance to slick up the insides, he aligns the tip of his cock with the hole and slowly pushes in. He wonders if this is what Lu Han's ass feels like: tight and soft at the same time. The toy hugs his swollen cock and yields in all the right places. He starts fucking into it at a leisurely pace, enjoying the sensation of the toy wrapped around him, pumping his hips. His thrusts grow more violent as he chases after his peak, picturing Lu Han bent over in front of him with a curled tail and antlers poking out of his hair. He moans and loses himself in the image, cumming inside the toy with a shudder.
Panting lightly, he lets the toy rest on his dick as he starts to soften. He didn't expect to come so soon, but he let his imagination cross into dangerous territory. He rinses the toy out with a lingering sense of guilt and stores it away for later use.
Days later, Lu Han is home again and Zitao stupidly forgets to close his laptop before leaving for the bathroom. Lu Han is a total snoop: something that Zitao should have prepared for. He comes back to Lu Han sitting in front of his computer, snickering. Over his shoulder Zitao can see the black background of the website.
It's not like he was browsing the page in his spare time with a hand stuffed down his pants, or anything.
Zitao lurches forward and slams the laptop shut, hoping to catch a few of Lu Han's fingers in the process. He's lucky; Lu Han yelps and pulls his fingers from the machine's clutches, followed by the snap of the lid closing.
"Eesh, what's your problem?" Lu Han brings his injured hand to his mouth and sucks on his knuckles.
"Why were you looking at my stuff?!" Zitao barks. His face is flushing and he's breathing hard. If he keeps this up, he'll have a panic attack.
"I was looking something up real quick and then I saw something really weird," Lu Han explains.
Zitao seethes, "You have a phone and your own laptop! What are you using mine for!"
"What is this anyway?" Lu Han ignores him, opening the laptop. Zitao promptly shuts it again.
"Um okay . . . I'm not going to judge you or anything but what the heck, Tao—"
Zitao takes a deep breath and tries to come up with a better excuse, even though he just wants to run away and lock himself in his room like a child. He can't even look at his roommate.
"It was a prank Yifan ge pulled on me. You know how weird he is."
"I knew Yifan was into some weird shit," Lu Han says.
"Yeah." Zitao bites his lip, his nerves still strung high. "Now will you please . . . go?"
"Fine, fine," Lu Han relents, getting up and retreating to the couch. He starts tapping through his phone while humming cheerfully.
Zitao never thought he'd be as forgetful as his friend Yixing when he accidentally leaves his toy out after he's done using it. Granted, Lu Han was away doing idol stuff, but it was still lying on the bathroom counter when he came home.
The feeling Zitao gets when Lu Han walks into his room later that evening holding Snowball the Deer in his hand is almost indescribable. The dread that sinks into the pit of his stomach nearly makes him vomit; his face breaks into a sweat; his hands feel numb as they drop to his sides like weights, phone hitting the mattress with a stifled thud.
"You know, I never thought you'd do it, but . . . you really did it," Lu Han says, alternating the toy between his two hands.
Zitao's throat is no longer working. He manages to squeak in shock and unadulterated horror, transfixed as Lu Han starts fingering the small hole suggestively.
"I'm much tighter than this," Lu Han says nonchalantly, as though he were commenting on the weather.
Zitao wants to die. He wants to melt into his bed and disappear. He just had his dick in that toy earlier that day.
Lu Han's statement doesn't go unnoticed, however. It affects Zitao in the way that his mouth starts to water, pupils dilating as he watches his roommate play with the penetrable toy. Lu Han pulls his finger out, a string of cum-looking substance attached to his fingertip as it's coaxed out of the toy's opening. Zitao's jaw drops. No. At least he'd made sure to wash the toy out. He realizes Lu Han must have found his bottle of Cum Lube, too, and used it to wet the insides.
Unless Lu Han had cum inside the toy before he had approached his roommate.
The thought makes Zitao's dick twitch. The entire sight before him is going to make him hard, despite suffering from overwhelming embarrassment, if Lu Han doesn't stop.
Lu Han starts to lift the corner of his shirt up, revealing his smooth and subtle abs, and Zitao knows he isn't going to stop.
When Zitao agreed to room with Lu Han, he never imagined Lu Han strip-teasing for him. He never thought he'd watch Lu Han shed his clothes and crawl onto his bed, beautifully naked, a fire burning in his brown gold eyes.
Snowball the Deer is cast aside, lying on the sheets a foot away from them, but not before Lu Han picks it up again and scoops some of the lube out, coating his fingers. Zitao pulls his legs up to make room for him on the bed as Lu Han turns around on his hands and knees, sticking his ass out (which looks a little fuller like this, Zitao silently praises) and circling his exposed hole with his fingertip. Lu Han lets out a long, indulgent moan.
Zitao stares, dumbstruck.
The bulge in his pants grows when Lu Han dips inside, starting to finger himself. He slowly stretches himself open, and Zitao doesn't miss the way his rim clings around the width of his finger.
"See Zitao, I'm much tighter – oh," says Lu Han as he hits a nice spot, digging deep and crooking his finger. His sharp intake of breath sends Zitao into motion, scrambling toward the vulnerable figure on his bed.
Lu Han has a light-coloured hole and pale skin, practically devoid of body hair in his nether regions. Zitao wonders if he shaves it or if he's just naturally like that. Either way, he wants to touch. This is the body – the person – he's been craving for so long. He swallows the liquid that's been building up in his mouth from drinking up the delectable scene.
He hears himself say, "Can I eat you out ge? Please, I really want to eat you out. Please, ge."
He's at his breaking point. He can't just look any longer. He wants to taste. He wants to touch. He wants to defile. He wants to claim, he wants to own.
Zitao entertains the thought of bright red marks from love bites blooming on Lu Han's milky skin, pretty bruises budding on his narrow hips from his fingertips.
"Eat me out, then." Lu Han shoves his ass back invitingly, two fingers still stuck inside his ass.
Careful to keep his hands from trembling, Zitao loosely wraps his hand around Lu Han's and slowly pulls his fingers out. Lu Han has made things easier for Zitao's tongue, but he'll see if Lu Han is true to his word. Zitao lightly rubs his cheek against one of Lu Han's protruding ass cheeks reverently, squeezing the flesh of the other. Lu Han pushes back impatiently, and Zitao obeys his silent demand, spreading him apart with his thumbs, and tentatively tastes. He drags his tongue up the cleft of Lu Han's ass, delighting in the shiver that runs down Lu Han's spine, his skin vibrating against the flat of his tongue.
He pokes his tongue inside, running the tip along the smooth wet muscle. The moans and sounds he teases out of Lu Han eggs him on, licking his sensitive interior with vigor. Lu Han is only indulging him, Zitao knows; soon he gets tired of the intricate twists of his tongue and demands to be fucked properly.
Zitao lingers for a few last laps at Lu Han's backside, biting up his spine and growling out moans. A final thought has him picking up the masturbation toy and scrounging some of the lubricant out, lathering it on his cock. He grips Lu Han's hips and positions himself behind him, lining his cock up with his puckered hole. He pushes the thick head of his cock inside, slowly sinking into the warm, tight heat that quickly surrounds him.
Lu Han is tighter than the toy – infinitely so – and feels much, much better. He's hot and slick and alive, moving on his own; yielding and tight in all the right places. Zitao relishes in the feeling of being inside him.
"Fuck me harder Taozi," Lu Han demands, hiccupping even as Zitao thrusts into him. He's the one running the show. Zitao pumps his hips and goes faster, squeezing past the resistance when Lu Han clenches around him purposefully. His moans and gasps spur Zitao on, pushing through the tightening heat. He feels like he's burning up; beads of sweat prickle his skin.
He cums inside of Lu Han, buried to the hilt. Zitao throws his head back and moans, closing his eyes in pleasure and losing himself in the reality that he just came inside his roommate. He shudders through his orgasm as it courses through his body, pressing close to Lu Han's backside.
When his vision clears, his hand snakes around Lu Han's hips and wraps around his leaking cock, stroking him off. Lu Han quivers beneath him, spurting cum onto the sheets while spilling broken syllables from his lips.
Zitao lets his cock slip out of Lu Han, and he watches, dazed, as Lu Han's hole twitches and a line of cum dribbles out. Zitao quickly laps it up, curling his tongue inside of Lu Han's stretched ass. He teases all of his cum out of Lu Han with his tongue, licking him clean.
Once he's finished, Lu Han's legs give out and he drops to the bed, lying in his own wet spot. Collapsing next to Lu Han, Zitao hesitates a moment before slinging his arm around Lu Han's chest, maneuvering them both so that he's spooning Lu Han from behind. There's nervousness that shows in his movements, doubting if Lu Han would want to cuddle after he'd just fucked him, but he doesn't move away from Zitao. It's a good sign.
"Better than some weird toy, am I right?" Lu Han speaks up.
"Shut up ge."
Zitao sleeps like a rock. When he wakes up in the morning, he's surprised to see Lu Han on top of him, arms caging him in. Lu Han looks down at him and smirks, his face only inches away from Zitao's.
"Last night was my moment of weakness."
Zitao's eyes widen. Lu Han leans in and catches Zitao's earlobe between his teeth, tugging on it sharply.
"Get ready for the fucking of your lifetime," Lu Han promises in his ear. Zitao shudders and pushes his hips up to let his roommate know he's ready, his morning erection rubbing against Lu Han's.
Zitao thinks he might not need to rely on Snowball the Deer any longer.